Vancouver, feat. LMFAO, Ke$ha and My Sisters.

For those of you that read my blog, you probably knew or had the idea that I got VIP tickets to the Ke$ha concert last night in Vancouver. I went with my two closest sisters and we really had one of the most incredible nights ever!

This concert is something that I’ve been waiting a long time for with my sisters. We bought our VIP tickets a couple of

My Sisters and I At The Concert (I Look Mental... Oh Well...)

months ago and have been pumping ourselves up everyday since. The wait did end up a little stressful though; on Wednesday we checked the mail again, but still didn’t have our tickets yet. Since the concert was only another 2 days away, I decided to phone the ticketing company to see what I could do if the tickets don’t arrive.

After waiting almost an hour on hold with Ticketmaster and listening to the same annoying instrumental song over and over and over again, I finally got to talk to the customer service representative. She told me that our tickets were never even sent because the Postal Workers Strike was going on at the same time we purchased our VIP package. I have to admit, that made me a bit mad. If they weren’t sent because of that, then why didn’t they send them either after the strike was over or at least let us know. So after a bit of a bickering, the lady finally let us able to just print off our tickets. I was a little disappointed too, its always nice to have a hard copy of the ticket to keep as a memory. But it was alright in the end, I ended up with lots of souvenirs in a way (Ke$ha condoms she shot out in the crowd, free buttons were handed out, an LMFAO glowstick and tonnes of glitter!).

Friday morning I left at about 9AM, this way I could pick up one of my sisters at 10 and the other at 11. Plus Vancouver is a few hundred kilometres away, so it takes about 5 hours of driving to get there from my house. Although, when I picked up my first sister, we made a quick stop at Wal-Mart to get some glitter for Ke$ha!

Another hour later, we arrived at my older sisters house. This was a little longer of a stop since she was giving the babysitter instructions about where to find things, typical bedtimes etc. But we were soon on our way!

To be honest, I was a little worried that we would be a bit reserved or even awkward with each other a tad since it’s been so long since the three of us really hung out like this. I gotta say though, it was a great experience and definitely didn’t end up being that way at all.

We actually learned a lot about each other during the long drive and definitely noted a lot of sibling similarities. We got talking about some of our bad habits that we have, which is something we never really admit to each other. We were just listing them off as we thought of them, and it turned out that 95% of the things one of us mentioned was pretty mutual between us. I always kinda just took all that for granted and I feel as though this trip brought us closer as siblings.

Once in Vancouver, finding our hotel proved to be a little difficult. We managed to get a pretty affordable room on Robson Street, at a hotel called The Barclay. But on the way, we thought we would use the GPS since we didn’t note what street the hotel was on. That ended up not really being the smartest idea since the GPS decided to be pubescent and non-cooperative. It took us around in circles and down some very creepy and sketchy back allies. Then at one point it lost where we were and decided we were in the middle of the Pacific ocean. We did manage to find our hotel though and got checked in right away.

By that point we just had a couple hours until the concert since it started at 7:30, so my sisters began to get ready.

When it came to doing their makeup, this meant it was time for my sisters to get the glitter going. I let them spray my beard with glitter a bit, but then they really went nuts on the glitter. It was literally like the Glitter Fairy threw up all over our hotel room. Especially the bathroom. There was glitter everywhere in our hotel room. Even where you’d least expect it. I just hope I don’t get charged extra on my credit card for that huge mess of glitter. Especially since we started drinking a bit while getting ready too. It wasn’t anything really heavy, just a mix of a double of vodka, topped off with some lemonade and club soda. It actually tasted pretty decent too.

At about 6:40 we started walking to Rogers Arena, getting excited the entire way. Once inside, we got ourselves two beers each and headed down to the floor level VIP section. Meaning the very front, at the stage. Literally spitting distance from Ke$ha, LMFAO and Spank Rock.

At this point, the first opening act, Spank Rock was starting his portion. Neither of us even heard of him before, but he was pretty decent with his performance, rapping and stage presence. He did what he was supposed to do and get the crowd pumped for the main event, Ke$ha.

Next they set up quite quickly for LMFAO to do their part. It really didn’t take any time at all. Also, by this point the stadium was completely full. I know LMFAO is pretty popular right now, but in all of the concerts I’ve been to, I have never seen an opening act perform with a completely full stadium like that.

I understand why now.

LMFAO did an amazing show! They had an incredible stage presence and were very unique on stage. They even had a huge inflatable zebra flying around the stadium as the crowd shoved it all over the place. Plus not to mention they had some of the most amazing dancers I’ve ever seen as well, they really did some crazy stuff. The entire crowd was dancing, singing and screaming along to their music, which was quite amazing as well, playing up the DJing and sounding just like the album or even better. Lastly, they were really funny too and did a perfect job at getting us all fired up for the main event still to come. But best of all, they put on a really long show for an opening act.

By the time Ke$ha came out, everyone was already on their feet due to LMFAO and really feeling the energy from their music. The crowd and the loud bass beat from Ke$ha’s drummer was starting to blow the roof off the place, then she emerged into the darkness, wearing these awesome light up glasses!

Next, the spotlights clicked onto her and she started to sing!

This was the first concert I’ve been to where I was disappointed from the main act. Ke$ha wasn’t that great of a singer, her voice was way worse than from her albums and a lot of the time she wasn’t even singing, just kinda yelling. Plus she was kinda chunky too! I was shocked. I mean, the money we paid to go to the concert was worth it (because of LMFAO), but we were still disappointed and thought that Ke$ha should be opening for LMFAO instead.

So when the concert ended, we were just leaving the doors of Rogers Arena when some guy offered us a little flyer. Usually we just ignore those people in Vancouver because they are just soliciting random things that never pertain to us, but luckily for us, this time we actually took them. It was a little card that was advertising an afterparty for LMFAO at a club called The Helm, located on Howe Street, Downtown Vancouver. The card actually said, “Featuring the setlist from SkyBlu of LMFAO”, so we figured it was just a DJ mixing some LMFAO songs or whatnot. But for some reason, we were feeling spontaneous and kinda wanting to make up for our disappointment of Ke$ha, so we started heading for The Helm.

Once we arrived, there wasn’t really a lineup, but there was a sign that said everyone needed to be on the guestlist in order to get in. So we kinda felt defeated and began to leave to our hotel. But after walking a couple metres, we just decided to go back and at least try to get in since we walked all that distance to get there.

Of course though, I got designated to be the talker.

When I approached the bouncer at the door (whom was probably 3 times my size), I simply asked if I would be able to get in with my two sisters.

His reply was, “Ok… Are you on the guestlist?”

I felt defeated after he asked that because I figured that when when I said “No”, he would tell us we wouldn’t be able to get in. Luck was going my way for once though and he told me, “You know what, I think I have room for three more if you show us some ID and pay $60 for the cover.” So we horked over our ID’s, the $60, and were stamped in.

I had never paid that much for a cover charge, usually I try not to pay any more than $10 for a cover, otherwise it was too expensive and not worth it. But since we were being spontaneous that night, we swiftly handed over the cash.

When we first arrived, we were a little unsure as to what to think of the place. It was pretty fancy and the DJ was going crazy on the stage, but the mood and vibe wasn’t really set yet, so it didn’t feel completely right. With that feeling we decided to get another drink, so I got my favorite, a pint of Guinness. It was a pretty big pint though, but I didn’t mind, it was Guinness!

When we were walking through the crowd with our drinks, my two sisters were walking in front of me, heading somewhere. I was mostly just busy elbowing people out of the way, being a little aggressive to stand my ground and not get separated from my sisters. Then all of a sudden my sisters stopped in their tracks. The one leading the way had this crazy look on her face, as if she were a dear in the headlights; then my sister behind her was pointing with her mouth hanging open at the guy beside us.

So I elbowed him once he was next to me, like I was doing to everyone else.

When I looked at him though, we made eye contact and instantly I got the same look on my face as my first sister, plus the mouth hanging like my second sister combined.

It was the guys from LMFAO!

I couldn’t believe my eyes and was completely shocked. They went up on the small stage platform, and starting DJing the club.

It was awesome!

They are quite intense and wicked DJ’s, playing some awesome songs and even performing quite a number of theirs. Myself and my two sisters managed to elbow our way to the front of the crowd and get on some intense dancing with the crowd. The entire energy and feeling of the place picked up significantly and it was my best clubbing experience ever! All their dancers were there too, giving everyone free shots and dancing like crazy, even the super cute and hot dancer girl from the concert!

While they were DJing one of their own songs and singing and such, there was this girl directly in front of me dancing away, and obviously really drunk. She actually took her shirt and bra off, it was pretty intense and she didn’t even get kicked out neither like most places would do. But it really was insane in there.

Finally, sometime after 2 AM, we got way too hot and sweaty that we needed to get out, so we headed back to the hotel, making a pitstop at McDonald’s first though for a late night snack.

 

This post doesn’t really do the night any justice since it was so epic (and this is coming from a guy that Never says “epic”), but I just wanted to share it with my friends on the interwebs. My sisters and I also vowed to come back to Vancouver again when LMFAO get their own tour going.

 

Tyson Trepidations.

A Mall, A Girl, And A Big Bad Dude.

Lately I’ve been having some pretty intense dreams revolving around me being against everyone else in an apocalypse-like situation. It’s not a recurring dream or anything like that, just different dreams focused on that subject matter. I mainly remember two of them, but I’m just going to talk about the one which I remember most.

It started fairly abstract, I never really suspected the dream to end up the way it was. But it began with me wandering around some sort of desert-like area, but it was more cold than hot. I guess it could be considered a wasteland more than anything. Mostly though, it wasn’t colourful at all; no vegetation, no people, no animals. Just myself wandering alone, in search for a place to call home for a night and praying to find some sort of food.

Somewhere along the way, I noticed a person in the distance. They seemed very far, so I thought it may have been a mirage or just my mind messing with the reality of the situation. But as I closed the distance between us, I began to realize that the person was real. Not only that, but there was some sort of large building in the horizon as well.

At first encounter, the man didn’t really seem to trust me, his body gestures suggested that he found me as a threat. But after reassuring him I wouldn’t hurt him or do anything bad, he reluctantly guided me to the building.

The building ended up being a large mall that now stood as a refuge and shelter for survivors of the apocalypse that occurred. The entire town inside the mall was controlled by one guy, I never caught his name in the dream, nor did I meet him until later. But the first thing that I observed, was that the people of this small colony within the mall looked up to him and bowed down to him. In fact, if they didn’t, they would often be punished by his protective crew. I guess the reason that they followed him rituously was that he provided them with a home and protection. Although, as a result, I would consider him corrupt by the power he held.

When I got inside, people immediately noticed that I was a new face. Some of them looked worried about this, but the hospitable ones took me to a bench of sorts where I was able to get some sleep.

I awoke from the feeling of being watched. So when I sat up, I automatically glanced around to see who or what disturbed my peace. I noticed it was a bunch of goons hanging out at a once been coffee booth nearby. I could immediately tell that they wanted to start trouble with me, the unfamiliar person. I could tell by their body gestures and the looks they were giving me. Next thing I knew, they were approaching me and each pulling out an array of weapons, from guns to knives. Observing that, I quickly stood up and weaved into a crowd of people around the food court area of this mall. They were still all after me, and caught up, beginning to throw punches, swing their weapons and cock their guns.

For some reason, I had these amazingly smooth and quick reflexes (that I obviously don’t have in real life), and fought away most of the goons without getting hurt and much like in action movies. Until one starting shooting. He missed me, but hit several people in the crowd, making everyone scream and begin to flee.

Suddenly, the one goon that was doing the shooting was shot himself. It was a fatal hit to the head. After a scan of where it came from, I found the man that did the damage. He was huge, at least 7 feet tall and biceps as large as my head. He fired his shot from an entire floor above, with his gun still smoking from the muzzle. I knew instantly, that was the power hungry individual that basically ran the place. Not to mention, he was surrounded by quite the number of personal guards.

Next thing I knew, this man was right in front of me, telling me that although I’m a new face, I better catch on to the rules and flow of the place if I wanted to stay there alive. But most importantly, not to defy his rule.

With that in mind, I went about exploring the colonized mall, familiarizing myself with it since it would be my home for at least a bit. While exploring, I bump into this girl (I know, all of my dreams have some sort of random girl for whatever reason), and when I look at her, we meet each others gazes. She was a beautiful girl, but like all my dreams, I can never remember what she looks like, only what I thought about her when we met.

All I thought was that she was a beautiful girl.

After meeting each others eyes, we instantly connected with that electric feeling you get when you meet the eyes of someone amazing. So she joined me and showed me around the mall, telling me about the people and revealing all the secrets she knew about the place. Even saying that the people were actually afraid of the guy that was in charge, but were too grateful for a home to complain.

We got to know each other fairly well and talked nonstop; she even gave me a place to spend the night. It was at that point that I told her I wouldn’t be able to stay for long under their leaders rule, and would have to move on like I always have. She understood, but I could tell that inside she was quite sad. As was I.

The next morning though, I must have gotten too friendly with the wrong girl. When I awoke there were some of the leaders security guards waiting for me to stir. With that, I knew I’d have to make my move then and now. So I set out with a swift yet elegant attack on the security men, and began to run towards the mall exit.

It was looking as though I would make it too, I could see the doors straight ahead and nothing was blocking the way out into the wasteland again. Then all of a sudden there were several security guards and the mall colony leader taking up all the space in front of the doors. With my exit blocked, the only choice I had was to stop and observe my surroundings for another escape.

There was no other escape though.

As I was continuing my frantic search, the leader pulled out that beautiful girl I had met and had her all tied up. She was crying and obviously distraught of the entire situation. I don’t remember what the leader dude man said, but I know it was hostile, especially since he took off his jacket to deal with me himself; apparently with his bare hands too since he handed off his weapons and such to his security team. The one observation I made, was that guy was triple my size.

I prepared myself for him as he slowly made his gradual approach, cracking his knuckles and chuckling at me for being a lot smaller. I knew my only advantage was that I would probably be able to move a lot faster than he would.

As soon as he was close enough, he already began to throw the punches, sending the first for the head. I was able to dodge that one pretty quickly, but it didn’t deter him at all. He started throwing more punches, each of which I was able to dodge as well, but some were pretty close since I could feel the air disturbance from his swings.

I began to back up the immobile escalators, knowing that being at a higher ground would serve as an advantage to me for a little and give me a chance to think. I didn’t think of much though as I was quickly running out of escalator to go up, so once at the top, I hopped over the escalator railing onto a ledge that apparently held some plants at one point.

He followed in same manner, except moreso stepping over the railing with his massive height.

As I backed towards the edge of the ledge I knew this was the time I needed to do something, so when he was once again close enough to throw a punch, I ducked and tucked away behind him quickly. Then I immediately gave him a kick to the side as hard as I could.

Thanks to his missed swing, he lost his balance a little; mixed with my hard kick, the leader plummeted off of the ledge and onto the ground. I’m not sure if the fall killed him, but he was definitely injured. Luckily, his guards and all the people were too stunned to pay attention to me anymore, and went immediately to help their ferocious leader. Plus some were a bit afraid of me, the dangerous new guy. But as I was exiting, I made sure to untie that beautiful girl.

Who Is That Beautiful Mystery Girl?

Then I left.

Just like that.

I didn’t even look back even though I really wanted to, just to see that beautiful girl one more time.

A couple of kilometres down the wasteland, I began to hear the sound of someone running towards me. I figured it was the guards coming with extra ammo to get me back for what I did to their boss. Either that or the leader guy was alright and coming after me.

When I turned around though, I was surprised.

Probably the best surprise I ever had in that apocalyptic world, and probably the first smile I had since too.

It was that beautiful girl, coming to join me and be my partner on whatever adventure I was heading to next.

 

“I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.” – Revelations 21:6, King James Version

 

Tyson Trepidations.

Boys Eat Dirt

One of my older sisters came down today for the long weekend, and we were all making a bit of a plan for our trip to Vancouver next week for the concert. Next thing we knew, we were talking about how it’s the first time we are doing something together in a while. I mean I’ll hang out with my sisters, but usually its one at a time sort of thing.

My sister Phalon is pretty close to my age. She’s only a year older (except people constantly think that she’s younger than me). Then my next sister, Paige, is seven years older than me.

Somehow we got talking about some of the stunts that my sister Phalon and I got into when we were younger since we were so close in age.

When we were really young (I think I was going on 4 years old), and just moved to this town, I was playing outside in the dirt with my sister. My sister started telling me that I should eat some of the dirt. But being a smart almost 4 year old, I knew something was awry. So I inquired, “Why?”.

Her response to my question was something like, ” Well because all boys eat dirt!”

Of course being the much smarter, younger brother, I added, “But I never saw dad eating any dirt.”

Then came the trickery, and probably what scarred me to be the odd person I am today. My sister told me, “That’s because he does it at work with all the other boys that work there.”

So I ate dirt.

The moral of the story:

Girls are evil.

Sisters are evil.

I guess I was a little evil too as a child, but my sister was always right there by my side doing the same too. Heck, she probably egged half of it on like that dirt eating incident.

I remember our first neighbors when we moved here. They were always pretty nice at first, but after a couple of years, when I was about six or seven, they started being not very friendly to my parents. So as a result, my sister and I decided to get payback against them.

We always heard our parents talking about making their lawn greener than our neighbours too, so we decided to help them out as our first payback. So one day when our neighbours weren’t home, we took some of their bleach that they left outside and poured the entire bottle all over their front lawn. It was pretty genius of us too considering that those spots of their lawn were completely dead after some time. Then the same day, we also decided to clog their eaves, so we shoved every page from the newspaper into their eaves spout. I think we did that one because we sat there waiting about 2 minutes for their lawn to die, and when it didn’t die before our eyes, we wanted to make sure we made our point.

Over the months we tried to do more to get our revenge too.

During the fall time, they had these plants along the top of the fence, so we knocked every single of them down into their yard. During the winter we shovelled all of our snow from our back yard, into their driveway, and even made sure to get some doggy doo doo in with it too. Then in the spring, more specifically, at Easter, we got a bunch of gum from the Easter Bunny. So we chewed all of it, made a huge glob and wrapped it around the tree in their yard.

We were quite the deviants. I think those must have been the rebel days of our lives too. I kinda feel bad for our neighbours now, but I guess we could have done worse right? Besides, we were young and didn’t know any better from pouring bleach on the neighbours lawn.

“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. ‘Which road do I take?’ she asked. ‘Where do you want to go?’ was his response. ‘I don’t know,’ Alice answered. ‘Then,’ said the cat, ‘it doesn’t matter.” – Alice In Wonderland

Tyson Trepidations.

Nerding Out With TED

I do admit confidently, that sometimes I can nerd out quite a bit. I don’t really care, if it interests me then hey, it’s okay.

Once in a while though, I’ll go on Wikipedia to look something up or read into whatever is on my mind and I end up Wiki-surfing. I go from one subject to another and another just looking random things up. For example, the other day I went on Wikipedia to look into that new show called Terra Nova, then I ended up reading about Steven Spielberg, then onto Stephen King, Jack Layton, Fallout 3 and lastly, Rio.

Maybe I have an addiction to learning random facts. I could be like that random fact guy who sits in a corner, then whenever someone walks by, I’ll shuffle out of hiding yelling “RANDOM FACT!” and give them one. Even if their running away.

But really, that’s not even what this post is about, and I shouldn’t be creeping out the people that have to put up with reading this neither. It’s more about how I can nerd out a tonne with TED.

Who’s TED anyways? I don’t even know a TED.

Well, okay, TED isn’t a person, its a nonprofit organization that specializes in “ideas which are worth spreading”. It’s basically a conference full of guest speakers that have some innovative ideas for the world. I gotta say, some are pretty inspirational and creative. It has all kinds of people giving the talks, from scientists, to actors, to magicians, soldiers, writers, dancers, investors, etc. Any person, even just regular people that have a big idea.

So if you feel like nerding out, seeing something inspirational or really cool, give it a try! Below are a couple of my favorite conferences.

This TED conference video features Marco Tempest, he’s a magician that uses iPods as his magical props. While he performs, he talks about truth and lies, art and emotion. It’s really neat and worth a watch.

Here’s another one, this ones a bit longer at 18 minutes. This inspiring lady is Charity Tillemann-Dick. She had a double lung transplant and after being told by her doctor that she will never sing again, she proved them all wrong. Watch her amazing speech and musical performance if your up to it.

 

 

 

“In order to do good, you have to do something.” – Emily Pilloton

Tyson Trepidations.

That’s How the Cookie Crumbles

I’ve been kinda stale on the blog posts lately, mostly from too many night shifts! I don’t mind night shift, they are usually pretty pleasant and you get good hours, the only thing is that they take the biggest chunk of the day working from 2-10PM or even later once in a while. But I shouldn’t complain, a job is a job and it pays my tuition.

Lately I’ve been wanting to get a new GPS system though to do some Geocaching. We had one, it wasn’t bad neither, but my parents lost it of course! So I haven’t done any Geocaches at all this year. Not to mention I have two Geocaches of my own that I want to put out. I don’t think I’ll get one though, even though it does entertain me on those days I have nothing to do, I have other investments I’d like to get to do.

We have a dog, his name is Apollo after a Battlestar Galactica character, and it suits him pretty well. He’s a Redbone with a little bit of a Bloodhound in him too. He’s exceptionally smart though and I decided he would be my new best friend.

Puppy Apollo

Other things I’m trying to organize is a whitewater rafting trip, if I can get enough people it will be worthwhile, but otherwise not. I’ll see how that goes, although I already have a few sure yeses and a couple maybe’s, so its looking pretty promising. Also, the people that said they are interested are pretty awesome people that I’ve been meaning to catch up with.

I think I should talk about my newest additions to my music collection this summer as well. It’s mostly been a lot of Ke$ha though, I love her music and beats, plus I’m getting pumped for her concert in September. I have also been listening to a lot of Eminem these days as well, I enjoy the vulgor rap while I’m working out or exercising for some reason, it really gets a good rhythm going for me. Other good mentions are Selena Gomez’s newest album, Demi Lovato’s song Skyscraper, 30 Seconds to Mars also including Linkin Park’s cover of Rolling In the Deep.

 

“The mightiest works have been accomplished by men who have somehow kept their ability to dream great dreams” – Walter Russell Bowie

 

Tyson Trepidations.

She Raped My Braces!

I love visiting my friends in San Francisco, its an amazing and beautiful city with so many unique features and a very

A Picture I Took Of The Wacky Jacky Approaching San Fran!

homely feel. I’ve been there a couple of times already, but I’m still compelled to return to see and experience more that the city has to offer, even though I’ve seen quite a bit of it already. Everything that I have seen so far has been spectacular and really made me fall in love with the city. They have some wonderful beaches there, beautiful neighbourhoods, a great Chinatown, historical stories at places like Alcatraz and some great venues like the San Francisco Ballet and all the best food you can find.

The last time I was there was back in February, over reading break from the university. The other times I’ve been there, I have spent a couple weeks at a week a time, so this one was a tad shorter being only ten days. Even though it was shorter, I still had an incredible time and gained a lot of new experiences.

With that said, its not really what I’m making this post for though. This post is for a story of mine, an experience I had while partying in San Francisco with my friends. It took me this long to finally repeat it because still, to this day, I’m very confused by it and stunned as well.

My friends that I visit there are a large Mormon family that is quite attuned to their religion and attend church whenever they are able to. It’s actually something quite different to me, since I grew up without a religion, but I sure learned a lot from my friends there. Anyways, on one of the Friday nights that I was present, they were invited out to a party by a number of people they go to church with and decided to take me along.

I’m not too much of a partier myself, but every once in a while I like to go out, have a few drinks and meet new people. So I was happy to join them and experience how the people party around there.

It was quite different than what I’m used to.

Maybe other parties around San Francisco are similar to those that I have seen, but this one was off the wall. It was more like a house that was turned into a club/rave filled with Mormon’s of all ages. It was quite a nice house too, had an amazing view of the valley and featured three floors plus two basements. So needless to say, it didn’t take long for me to get separated from my friends, but that was alright at the time.

I was quite pumped from the energy there and also quite loose from some drinks I had before coming. Not to mention, when I got there the hosts gave us another couple of drinks, each.

Before long I was dancing with some random people that flagged me down into their group. I was actually having quite a bit of fun dancing and learning some crazy new moves from some of the random people that surrounded me. The people there were all so nice and got along great, I kinda wondered if they were all from the same church; I saw their church a few days before too, it was massive! So That wouldn’t have surprised me neither.

Usually when I go out, I don’t drink all too much, just a few drinks to let loose really and get a nice buzz. But that night I think I overdid it a little too much. Mostly, I think it was the type of drinks we had, usually I have something light, like a beer or a mix of gin and tonic as my favorite. That night though, I had some pretty heavy stuff. I don’t think any of them were under 30% alcohol, so I’m pretty sure I was a little more than drunk.

While in my group of new friends, there was this one girl that was getting pretty close to me and occasionally grinding against my body, throwing in some dirty dancing as well. At first it felt a little wrong to me, knowing that most of these girls were raised in a very respecting religious family (or at least that’s what I’ve been told), but again, after that many drinks it was only filtered into a tiny portion of my brain that swept the thought away pretty quickly.

Then she kissed me.

I didn’t really expect it, and honestly, I don’t even remember when she started, but that girl was going at my lips pretty savagely.

Then things started to get a little weird.

I’m referring to when that girl started licking my braces, its like when she started, she couldn’t stop! She just stuck her tongue right in there and licked it all over, even the parts in the back. I never knew someone could have a tongue that long! Heck, I think she would have tongued me right down my esophagus if I stayed much longer. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good kisser, but this girl really took things beyond my level of kissing, more towards the rapage of my poor braces…

… I sure hope I had no food hiding somewhere in them neither….

What really snapped me out of my drunken daze though, was what she said into my ear next. I was a little shocked and wasn’t sure if I heard it right at first, nor did I understand what she was talking about; but after a moment I knew what it was, mostly due to what she did.

“I like the feeling of it growing my hand”, is exactly what she said into my ear.

Like I mentioned, I had no idea what she was talking about. It all became apparent though because not long after she told me that, I could feel her hand sliding down to my crotch. Even though I was fairly drunk, what she said and did really woke me up and I felt very awkward in that position. She wasn’t a bad looking girl at all. But with all that, I just couldn’t function properly anymore.

Not in a good way neither.

So I told her that I would be right back to use the washroom.

But I never returned.

Instead, I found my friends and we all agreed that it was time to leave, and had a cab pick us up. It almost seemed like a cab was waiting for someone to call too, because basically as soon as we called, one was waiting outside for us. Which for me, wasn’t a bad thing. I was actually quite afraid that girl would come hunting for me.

So there you have it, my interesting experience partying in San Francisco. It also turns out that the girl does attend my friend’s church, and usually she’s a really shy and sweet individual. But for me, she always be known as the Braces Raping Girl.

 

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” – Lao Tzu

 

Tyson Trepidations.

Multiple Personalities and Oojaboojan Valley

While growing up, I had quite an insane but wonderful imagination that I shared with my best friend, Steve. We would constantly make new worlds and travel in between each one. We even created other specie races and had multiple personalities we transferred between. No, we weren’t crazy with some sort of multiple personality disorder, we just felt as though our creations needed more characters!

Our imagination really ran for a long time though, straight into our teenage years and sometimes still do, even though I’m turning 22 in October. But that’s alright, its nice to slip back  into childhood once in a while, right?

Most of our different personalities were just different forms of our names. When we were ourselves, it was Steve and Tyson. When we were the villains it was Stevaha and Tysonee. When we were the brilliant scientists/inventors it was Evets and Nosyt. We even had a crazy person personality (not like we really needed it) from the land of Dalmatia, named Stiv and Tajson.

Our most common playground was always behind our houses.

Steve became my next door neighbour partway through our friendship and we had this mountain that started right behind our houses. We would constantly climb up there and turn it into whatever world we wanted to.

One of the times we were going up my dad was building a new fence, so he had all these boards from our old fence that were still perfectly good. We took the boards up with us, a few at a time. Just brining all that wood basically took an entire day. But once up there, we managed to scrounge up all the old but still usable nails that were pulled out of those boards and got to work building ourselves a fort.

Of course, knowing us, our old fence was pink, so we were going to have a very manly, pink fort!

There was this one area up on that hill that was kinda like a valley, on either side of us were pretty steep banks. This place, we called Oojaboojan valley. It was where the mythical Oojaboojans lived.

The Oojaboojans were a race that Steve and I made up and stuck with for many many years, even making up a call for them and a special Oojaboojan language.

Ultimately, we decided to build our fort just at the entrance of the Oojaboojan valley, that way we would still be outside of it, and the hostile Oojaboojans wouldn’t attack us.

It took us about a week, but we eventually had our beautiful pink fort built. We used a fallen tree as an anchor point to get started, giving us a sturdy beam to build the roof upon. We even built ourselves a bench and made the roof waterproof with a yellow tarp. Plus, we also a added a fence for defence, in case the Oojaboojans did decide to attack us. All in all, we had a wicked pink fort with a yellow roof. It was pretty big area-wise, but we had to duck down a little when we were inside of it. Even still, it was our haven and we were very proud of what we accomplished. Sometimes it even served as our headquarters when we spied on the cute girl that lived on the other side of our houses.

Eventually our fun had to end though. The cute girl that lived in our neighbourhood moved away with her parents and the town began developing log homes on that mountain where our fort was. So yes, they destroyed our fort and ran the Oojaboojans out of their valley for their purposes.

But that didn’t keep us off the mountain. We still climbed up there, but hiked further and went on more outrageous adventures to the mountain peaks. The mountain was formed with three peaks, each fairly close, so we could hike to all of them in one day if we wanted to (and sometimes we did). Each peak had its own name, there was Death Peak, named by its many cliffs that surrounded it, making only one way possible to get up there. Not to mention everything on that peak was dead due to a forest fire. There was also Abporson’s Palace as one of the peaks, it housed an ancient kingdom that could only be seen once on the highest point of that peak. Then there was the largest and highest of the three, entitled The Neverending Mountain. All of these peaks were always dangerous to us. Since the Oojaboojans were driven from their home, they had scattered throughout each of the peaks, and we had constantly undergone many epic battles on our journeys.

Most kids do have an imagination to some degree, but from what I observed as a kid, I think Steve and I took ours a lot further than most other kids. When we describe some of the games we used to play and everything we made up, people would give us some crazy looks. Plus, when we hung around with many other kids, they were never quite as inventive as we were. They always based things off of movies or television shows they had watched, but we were never interested in copying what was already made up. But I’m sure there were some kids just as crazy as we had been.

 

“I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel” – Peter Nivio Zarlenga

 

Tyson Trepidations.